Lucky Number Seven?

Okay, I love cats.  Right?  They are cuddly, soft and will play with my hair without my even asking which is heavenly to me.  Two is the perfect number of cats to own.  They can entertain each other when you are gone and need only one litter box.

As the number of cats grows, the satisfaction from them diminishes tenfold per extra cat!  If you have one cat, it may go hunting occasionally, but if you keep it stuffed full of kibble there is not much motivation.  However, if you have say seven cats, somebody is always getting the short end of the kibble stick and has to resort to it's primal urge to hunt.  Everyone knows that cats, like hunter people, have to brag about what they successfully slaughter.  I picture cats with their little iPhones taking pics and publishing them in the county paper alongside the hunter holding up his big bad deer that he was able to massacre as it trotted gleefully through the field.  The  bad thing about cats who are eating their hunted wild game is the stomach ache that follows and the puking attached to it.  It makes me want to sing, "Doctor! Doctor! Ain't there nothin I can take to relieve this belly ache?"

So seven cats is way too many. Mrs. Brice's mice would be wiped out straight away.  Even naming them becomes a chore.  You start with Aslan, a majestic lion looking cat.  Then it goes downhill from there, two black ones, Nestlee and Hershee! Really. . . Then there is the beautiful, fluffy stray that wanders up, Percy - AND HAS kittens!  Persephony Blue Stripe is the one the grandkids talk us into keeping.  So we are up to five.  All of the cats are dutifully spayed and neutered except for Persephony who is a suspected hermaphrodite.  No interest in running off, getting out of the house or going into heat.  One day she is gone and that is where we got six and seven.  I told the grandkids when they started naming them that they are already named - GONE and ALSO GONE!  We have to find homes!  NO IFS, ANDS or CATS!!!!!!  Alas, we have Blueberry and Fritz.  And while they are still nursing, OH NO!!!!!!  Where is Persephony?  She is galavanting around town, who knows where?! "Doctor! Doctor!"

You put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em both together
Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better
Put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both up
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning